Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
