My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I love having hate sex.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
