I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
