As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
