i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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