So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
