White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
