Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hippo gnu deer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
