The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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