is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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