My Higher Power is John Stamos
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize