The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
