I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is my gift to your gina
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
