drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
