this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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