garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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