Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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