smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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