Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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