just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
