He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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