OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
