Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize