im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you had me at cake vodka
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
