More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Text me some of your sweat
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