as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
