SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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