I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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