my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
