I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
