His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
