i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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