dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
