Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
