Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
