Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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