I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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