Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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