why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
