I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
