I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
