Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
