She's JV to your varsity
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
