U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
