P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
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Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize