If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
