fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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