It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
