I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think people are normalizing furries
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
