im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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