I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
