Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize