i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
In other news, I just burned my penis
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