it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
