i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Drake has all the answers
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
