Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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