why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
