I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
