i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
