It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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